The Finale

The final episode. The Candour Communication Podcast will be put on hold indefinitely after this episode. To celebrate the 50th episode and the start of a new season, Mark and Divan share some behind the scene stories and recount memorable moments over the last 50 episodes.

You can connect with Mark and Divan via LinkedIn if you want to keep in touch. We’d love hearing from listeners, especially when they share highlights from their favourite episodes.

You can listen to the final episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts or Simplecast.

Show Notes

1:04- behind the scenes: podcast stats – number of countries, downloads and fan favourite episodes.
6:11 – We’re putting the podcast on hold indefinitely.
9:54 – Mark’s favourite episode: Chris Marhefka.
14:38 – Adrian Spear episode: distance between stimulus and response.
15:39 – Grant Herbert episode: be yourself.
16:13 – funniest moments: Lisa Linke, Christian Fleck, Daisy Simonis.
19:32 – most inspiring guests: Dr Everett Worthington, Ashley Kesner, Ricardo Gonzalez, Greg van Borssum.
24:29 – most surprising moments: grief (Jillian Rosoff and David Richman) and erotic empathy (Amanda Luterman), backburners (Dr Michelle Drouin).
30:45 – the counter-intuitive Danish way of parenting: Jessica Joelle Alexander.
34:07 – most informative: Dr Timothy Levine.
38:43 – episodes on trust: Marie-Clarie Ross and Melanie Marshall.
39:00 – presenting and storytelling: Laurie Gilbertson.
40:26 – story telling: Francisco Mahfuz, Gabrielle Dolan.
44:07 – quick recap of topics covered in the podcast.
45:17 – leadership episodes: David Neal and Ryan Hartley.
48:02 – topics that we would have liked to do?
50:26 – benefits of doing the podcast: meeting people.
51:14 – empathy: Dr Ashok Bhattacharya and Daniel Murray.
53:11 – relationships are at the heart of life: Dr Michelle Drouin, Craig Bulmer and Ashley Fico.
54:48 – knowing better does not mean doing better: Divan’s communication mistake.
59:32 – feedback: Jason Rosoff and Paul Farina.
1:01:09 – Tina Robinson: “all behaviour is communication”.
1:01:40 – Mark’s recommendations: Chris Marhefka, Dr Michelle Drouin, Amanda Luterman, Jessica Joelle Alexander.
1:02:45 – Divan’s recommendations: Jessica Joelle Alexander, Francisco Mahfuz, David Neal, Dr Ashok Bhattacharya, Jason Rosoff, Dr Timothy Levine.
1:05:15 – practice is as important as knowledge.
1:05:50 – wrapping up the podcast.
1:09:52 – connect with Divan and Mark.
1:10:28 – final words.

Links to References

Chris Marhefka Episode Introduction – Intentional Background Noise

Internal Locus and External Locus of Control

The Tinder Swindler – Netflix Show

The Dunning Kruger Effect

Episode recommendations from Mark

Life, Stress, Achievement – Chris Marhefka

Technology – Dr Michelle Drouin

Parenting – Jessica Joelle Alexander

Erotic Empathy  – Amanda Luterman

Episode recommendations from Divan

Parenting – Jessica Joelle Alexander

Public Speaking – Francisco Mahfuz

Leadership – David Neal

Empathy – Dr Ashok Bhattacharya

Feedback – Jason Rosoff

Communication – Dr Timothy Levine

Key Quotes

“Welcome to Episode 50!”

“We have had downloads in 79 countries.”

“The number one country who has listened to our podcast is the USA at 36%, then Australia at 32%, then India and Canada…”

“We will be just over 8,000 episode downloads in total.”

“The top three most popular episodes are Niki Vinogradoff, Lisa Linke and Amanda Luterman.”

“We are putting the podcast on hold.”

“We need to apply what we preach to others.”

“My favourite episode (Mark) was Chris Marhefka as it relates to my season of life.”

“We get warning signs in life…the feather, the brick and the Mack Truck.”

“Your life is the moments right now…why not make the most of your time?”

“Countries that are less achievement orientated have people that tend to be happier.”

“The benefit of meditation is to increase the distance between stimulus and response.”

“What is the rush anyway? Who are we trying to impress?”

“Forgiveness happens within your skin…not in the other person.”

“Ricardo Gonzales was the only guest we had on twice.”

“If you look at your fear and go towards it, in it you will find your greatest strength. Your greatest weakness is your greatest strength in waiting.”

“Some of the conversations we have straight after the podcast…we wish we left the record button on.”

“There are a number of topics we went into at the start of the podcast where I said, ‘I’m not sure’.”

“I thought we were going to talk about leadership, relationships, communication, public speaking….but then we were getting into grief and erotic empathy…”

“Some of the things I was most scared of were some of the most enjoyable episodes and the ones I took the most learning from.”

“Sexuality and eroticism is tightly linked to mental health.”

“People have backburners even though they are in a committed relationship.”

“Going to bed with your partner at the same time is good for the relationship and backed by research.”

“Bedtime is not just for sleeping…”

“Play is the most important thing a child can do for their education.”

“Danish stories often do not have happy endings….yet Danish people are the happiest in the world.”

“If you over-praise your kids it develops an external locus of control that inhibits their self-esteem.”

“With her American boyfriend she found out about everything they achieved in life in the first ten minutes but with her Danish boyfriend she didn’t.”

“We truth-default: we tend to believe people we hear. Tt is more efficient this way.”

“We trust others more than we realise.

“Most lies are told by a small minority of people…People deserve your trust to begin with considering most people tell the truth”.

“The emotional part of our brain is how we prioritise.”

“Storytelling talks through both the emotional and rational part of the brain, but the emotional part of the brain is the first filter.”

“Stories are sneaky, they sneak past the defences people have.”

“Leadership is not about you, it is service and heart centred.”

“By giving people boundaries, you give them more freedom, not less.”

“Empathy isn’t about walking in someone else’s shoes. It is more about seeing the world through someone else’s eyes….seeing things through their experience.”

“Relationships are at the very heart of life.”

“Love as much as you can….call your Grandma.”

“It is not about you, it is about them.”

“You are not your audience.”

“If you are really bad at it you think you are really good at it.”

“It is so easy for communication to go wrong and for you to think you are doing well and to walk about thinking it worked…it is so important to get the feedback.”

“The impact the leader has on an employee…it can put stress, pressure…when no intended to.”

“I know what to do, I know the theory, but I’m just not putting anything into practice.”

“All behaviour is communication.”

“We have covered enough topics that will help people have better relationships.”

“People often do not understand each other and talk past each other, like they are speaking another language.”

“Feedback is not measured at the speakers mouth but the listeners ear.”

“Frame your message so that it is understood by the other person, through their filter of the world and not by our filter of the world.”

“It will be a bit bitter-sweet now to put the podcast on hold.”

“The fact that we did the podcast together made it all happen.”

“The tension between doing and being…we always want to do and achieve and accomplish but we get more fulfilment from being and it is more about relationship with those around us – do not focus on one at the expense of the other.”

“We live in a culture where doing is more rewarded than being, so we need to be more intentional with just being.”

About the author

Divan and Mark are co-hosts of the Candour Communication Podcast where we discuss interpersonal communication and all the human stuff that gets in the way.