In this episode we talk to Craig Bulmer about building rapport, authenticity and understanding people. We discuss the importance of empathising and really thinking about the other people we are interacting with and not just about ourselves. Craig gives us insight into the DISC profiling tool and gives us some practical examples to better understand how the tool works. As well as sharing with us some personal insights about running marathons and the impact it had on his relationships.
Craig Bulmer is a people and performance specialist who is passionate about empowering business owners and leaders to fulfil their potential.
He is the founder of Human Interactions Australia, an outsourced people and culture consultancy that supports business leaders to better understand and develop their people which ultimately leads to increased employee engagement and increased profitability
Craig has based his entire career on the certainty that if you really connect with people, then you can understand people and if you truly understand people you can influence behaviour change, which leads to greater employee performance
“I think we have become a race that has become incredibly selfish, an incredibly greedy”
“If you want people to learn you have to think about them”
“If people have barriers they are not going to listen”
“It is critical that you are interacting with people on a human level”
“We live in a world where it is all about how you look and how you perform”
“There are a lot of people on the speaking circuit who are not authentic”
“People are you most important asset”
“Leaders need to understand their people before they can change them”
“We have looked at a number of profiling tools and we always come back to DiSC”
“Let’s be real together”
“Meeting them at their place..”
“It’s not about me, it’s all about them”
“Often you are making decisions based on what we want and not what they need”
“Awareness leads to choice”
“One of the best methods of handling frustration and anger is to walk away”
“You are promoted to your highest level of incompetency”
“The best rewards happen instantaneously”
“People will get a lot more out of people when they understand people”
1:24 – where the platypus was discovered.
4:22 – if you want to connect you have to think of the other person.
5:56 – being present to connect with people.
9:08 – being vulnerable is about being real without the facade.
11:18 – it takes courage to go first.
12:28 – why we’re scared to show our true selves.
14:33 – why take the risk to be vulnerable?
15:51 – performing for approval makes you less likeable.
17:01 – finding the balance between technique and authenticity.
18:44 – why people are important.
19:15 – silo mentality.
19:49 – the right people in the right role.
21:01 – What is DiSC?
25:15 – building rapport.
27:24 – using DiSC and technology to understand people and build relationship.
29:26 – it’s important to be aware of each other’s style, especially under stress.
29:59 – under stress people resort to comfortable behaviours because of fear.
31:09 – rapport building techniques can be manipulative.
32:51 – it’s not about technique, it’s about trust.
33:02 – humour is a good technique to build rapport.
34:04 – how to build trust. Is trust given or earned?
36:33 – don’t fight resistance, adapt to it.
37:14 – meeting people where they are at.
38:58 – intellectual vs emotional empathy.
40:28 – how stress changes behaviour and impacts empathy.
42:24 – making decisions based on what we want, not what they need.
43:19 – tension between our desires and others’ needs.
45:15 – incredibly proud of achievements, but it nearly cost the relationship.
46:00 – re-investing in strained relationships.
48:20 – what we’re praised for is often not what’s important.
51:21 – selfishness does not make you happy.
52:01 – productive conflict.
52:42 – separating ego from conflicts.
55:02 – what makes us happy.
55:55 – be aware of your own triggers.
56:57 – emotional intelligence is counter-intuitive.
57:58 – excuses for bad behaviour.
59:54 – personal responsibility.
62:58 – expecting people to do things they are not capable of.
64:18 – being a good performer does not make them a good leader – but we promote them anyway.
65:25 – rewarding people for being the best at what they do.
67:37 – you need to understand your people and what drives them.
68:11 – understanding people helps you to better utilise their strengths.
71:46 – last words.
Links to References
Where the Platypus was discovered near the banks of a lake near Hawkesbury River close to where Craig did the training.
Teaching in the Wolgan River:
The six Abbot World Marathon Majors: Tokyo, Boston, London, Berlin, Chicago and New York City.